Establishing Spiritual Relationships with Structured Ritual

A stick of incense held by an ash catcher smolders while two blurred candles are lit in the background.  Image by Rudy and Peter Skitterians from Pixabay.

To establish and sustain newly formed relationships with Spirits, structured ritual is essential.

This is similar to a mutual friend formally introducing two people that don't know each other. The conversation might look something like this: 

• Mutual friend, gesturing toward person B says, "Person A, this is person B." 
• B waves at A and might say hello. 
• Mutual friend, gesturing towards A, says, "Person B, this is person A. 
• A greets B with a wave or hello (or a how are you?).

This simple social ritual illustrates a small exchange between A & B facilitated by a mutual friend.  In our case, ritual is the mutual friend that introduces us to any Spirit and in turn introduces Spirits to us.

Notice there is a structure to the example.  The structure is decided beforehand (by conventional social rules), and it is used to formally establish a connection between A and B.

Animistic polytheist ritual does the same thing.  Through formally making offerings and speaking prayers of praise to a Spirit, we introduce ourselves to them.  By allowing ourselves to open up to the Spirit with Whom we are establishing a relationship (within an established ritual structure--ways of doing this include sitting in quiet meditation and taking an omen with a divination tool), we give Them space to introduce Themselves to us.

Once a working relationship has been firmly established, elements of that ritual structure can fall away until only the core pieces remain (for maintaining relationship with a given Spirit).

I have a full ritual structure that I use for more formal occasions (and that I plan to use for the Wheel of the Year holidays this year), but if I am just doing a devotional, I strip the structure way down to what I feel are the most important parts.

My devotional structure looks like this:

1. Light candle for the Spirit I am honoring.
2. Speak words of praise, gratitude, and sometimes petitions.
3. Make an offering.
4. Repeat steps 1-3 for each Spirit I want to honor.
5. Take an omen for blessings from the honored Spirits collectively by shuffling a tarot deck and drawing a card.
6. Read the card's interpretation from the guidebook.
7. Thank all Spirits and let incense offerings (if any) burn out before snuffing candles.

Keep in mind that I only use this looser structure after I have already firmly established a relationship with a given Spirit.  If there is a Spirit that you are interested in honoring (that has not contacted you first), formally introduce yourself before diving deeper into Their worship.

Remember--sometimes it takes time.  In my case, it generally takes several years to establish a working relationship with a Spirit, especially if that Spirit is reluctant.  I've been honoring Freyja for several years, but I still have a hard time connecting to Her.  On the other hand, I only really started honoring Brighid in 2020, and I have a very strong connection to Her.  The specific Spirit you are trying to connect with sets the pace.